[TamilNet, Thursday, 11 November 2010, 01:20 GMT]
Shock! Murder! WAR CRIME©! The Sri Lankan cricket team has gone absolutely berserk in Australia, winning the sole T20 and the ODI series 2-1!
The slaughter began last Sunday with the Sri Lankans wiping out the Aussies at the T20 in Perth and getting things going with some nice kangaroo indi appa for starters. Then the party moved onto Melbourne where a severe case of indigestion was averted by chefs extraordinaire Mathews and Malinga who whipped up some fine kangaroo curry.
The banquet resumed in Sydney where a gourmet dish of kangaroo kottu (with lunumiris and katta sambol) was devoured. A slight case of dyspepsia occurred in Brisbane after the Aussies finally remembered to eat their weet-bix, but nothing was stopping the slightly hungover Lankans from having kangaroo watalappam for dessert and carrying off the trophy.
This was the first time that the Sri Lankan team had thrown such a feast in Australia. It came as a huge shock because they are a totally weak team, unlike the Aussies who are packed full of superstars like…um…like…well, like Michael Clarke and Mitchell Johnson, real macho men who train hard all day when they’re not busy styling their hair juuust right or posing for the cameras.
The right royal THRASHING the Aussies received also comes as a surprise in light of the super-massive support they received from many We Thamizh in Australia, many of whom went to the grounds proudly sporting the flags of their Aussie white masters because, as you know, they no longer have a country or even a cricket team to call their own.
The totally sane spokesperson of the Australian Kazhuthai Congress, Dr. Sam Pari, spoke to TamilNet about this latest embarrassment from her shack in Sydney, “Every time a Sri Lankan cricketer hits a boundary or takes a wicket, a Tamil is GENOCIDED™ and I feel a little bit more GENOCIDED™ as well. We were hoping our Australian white masters would thrash the Sri Lankans but the opposite has happened, despite all 15 of us going and supporting our white masters at the SCG. This has resulted in a humongous NONDI GENOCIDE™ for us stateless kazhuthais of Eelam. This is a serious crime against humanity© and we will be lighting candles in Hyde Park to protest.”
Asked if this will affect Australia’s preparation for the Ashes, Ricky Ponting shrugged off concerns and said, “Mate, now the Poms think that even Ian Botham’s mother-in-law can beat us and they’ll take it easy against us. Glenn McGrath told me that he expects us to wallop them 7-0. This is the best preparation we can get.”