[TamilNet, Sunday, 01 Augist 2010, 04:10 GMT]
News has emerged that Parameswaran Subramaniam, that glorious We Thamizh who magnificently demolished Lt-Colonel Thileepan’s record by embarking on a McHunger Strike™ for 24 days outside the parliament of our British white masters, actually did NOT eat a single Big Mac (with a side of wadei). Not even a Happy Meal!
In court, Scotland Yard made a complete U-turn from their earlier position and said that they actually did not have any tapes of him scarfing down on Big Macs. This change of heart from Scotland Yard is 100% genuine and totally not because they are reluctant to release the footage due to security implications. The Sun and The Daily Mail apologized to Parameswaran thambi for the totally untrue allegations against him.
TamilNet issues our unreserved apologies to Parameswaran thambi for our own most libelous article. Tamil circles in London can confirm that Parameswaran thambi totally did not go on a McHunger Strike™. Instead, he survived for 24 days without losing a gram of weight by McHunger Striking™ on a regal Eelamish feast of parota, masala wadei, dosa, appam, sambar, thayir sadam and other traditional dishes, all washed down with some premium imported Madras filter chai. “In my quest for Eelam, I achieved Eelam in my mouth”, a beaming Parameswaran thambi reportedly told his friends with a rich belch.
This is a most glorious victory for the Eelam cause as it shows that We Thamizh will never ever be put down by those among our white masters who are in the Sinhaloids’ pay. This hero of Eelam has been awarded £77,500 in damages and plans to treat his friends to a raucous party to celebrate Eelam coming one step closer to being achieved. He serves as a great example to all We Thamizh who aspire to Eelam. Forget Australia, forget Canada. We should all take the next boat to London, go on a McHunger Strike™, sue their newspapers and strike it rich quick. This has hurt the Sinhaloids very much, as we can all see.
Since he will definitely donate every cent of his winnings to the totally non-corrupt Eelam tax collectors, McDonald’s has offered to sponsor the party and it will be called Paramweswaran’s Big Mac party. McDonald’s is reportedly shipping in boatloads of A-grade punakku for this big bash. White master David Miliband will be the guest of honour.