Sinhala Juggernaut Mahinda Rajapakse Once Again Commits Election Genocide™

[TamilNet, Tuesday, 13 April 2010, 07:20 GMT]

In a totally surprising turn of events, the UPFA has comprehensively routed all comers at the recently concluded General Elections in Sri Lanka. This ELECTION GENOCIDE™ comes as a huge shock since political analysts were unanimous in stating that the totally non-pathetic UNP, JVP and TNA would give a superhuman showing at the election, especially since they were still totally sticking together to present a united front to defeat the foul UPFA.

Sarath Fonseka even ditched the UNP- thus demonstrating adroit skill in the practice of MAN-gala’s condom theory- and joined the JVP to form the DNA. This was the first time in recorded history that an entire alliance was formed by just one person joining a political party.

In happier news for our white masters, His Virtual Excellency the Rt. Hon. Facebook President of Sri Lanka has been elected to parliament, thus proving beyond doubt that the election had been shamelessly rigged by the government. Since his entry to Parliament will mean that he will have another ‘Hon.’ added to his name, he will in future be addressed as His Virtual Excellency the Rt. Hon2 Facebook President of Sri Lanka MP. Ponil’s UNP, on the other hand, broke several records by obtaining less than 30% of the overall vote.

The UPFA is projected to have about 140 seats by the time all results are released, thus paving the way for those homophobes to obtain a 2/3 majority of 150 seats by luring a few MP’s from other parties. However, we at TamilNet agree with Ponil’s assertion that the UPFA does not have the mandate of the people whatsoever due to the totally low voter turn-out of about 56%.

When there was a turn-out of 70% at the Presidential Elections, the Sinhala Juggernaut Rajapakse of course won due to a cunning computer jillmart® done by his sneaky online campaigners from Temple Trees because he was just jealous of the Facebook President actually getting 45 zillion votes. Talking about popular mandates, let’s just ignore the fact that hardly anyone even bothered to vote for the UNP anyway. As you can see, the most honorable UNP and JVP DNA have an excuse for everything because they really are the most popular parties in Sri Lanka.