[TamilNet, Monday, 08 March 2010, 14:40 GMT]
In a gross violation of his fundamental human rights, the Rt. Hon. Facebook President of Sri Lanka has had his mobile phone brutally confiscated by the Sinhaloids and he has launched a McHunger Strike™ in protest.

This grievous attack on the Rt. Hon. Facebook President’s dignity took place after the Sinhaloids allegedly caught him red-handed calling the State Department of our American white masters in Washington DC and informing them about the 100% non-fictitious war crimes® the Sinhaloids committed in the holy Tamil Only™ homoland.
TamilNet assures our readers that this is not the case. The Rt. Hon. Facebook President was actually using his tax-payer-funded phone to keep in touch with his patriotic daughters who are still in the United States. He totally did not call the US State Dept. and tell them about any war crimes®! It was just on a few occasions where his call was mistakenly routed to white madam Hillary Clinton’s office by Mobitel!
Rt. Hon. Facebook President Fonseka has now launched a McHunger Strike™ in protest at this step-motherly treatment. TamilNet is shocked to learn that the Sinhaloid tax-payer pays for his 5-star accommodation, doctor and lawyer. What a grave miscarriage of justice this is indeed! It is totally not a ploy of his to bring more attention on him now that no one seems to give a toss about him.
Our spies in Colombo have already witnessed several boxes of Big Mcs being delivered to his quarters. We Thamizh are immensely pleased at the way he is taking up our proud Eelamic traditions one by one. It is hard to believe that less than a year ago he was one of the Sinhaloids We Thamzih hated most. It is as if General Sarath Fonseka the Sinhaloid war hero has died after the war and has been replaced by an Eelam-friendly Sarath Fonseka!

Meanwhile it is with great delight that we hear at TamilNet announce a mega super duper successful rescue mission is going to be launched to free the incarcerated Facebook president of Sri Lanka. In true Colombian fashion the rescue mission will be launched online as befitting for someone with the title of “Facebook President”
As a part of this great strategy the first salvo was fired by Former Chief Justice Sarath N. Silva when he launched an online petition to free Sarath Fonseka last week. This highly non comical event of “launching” an online petition (which is highly “event” material) showcases how far the grand ol’ opposition has come in terms of technology and relevance.
The group of people, now commonly known as “Losers for Fonseka” comprising by Sarath Silva, Somawanse Amarasinhe and Arjuna Ranatunga who are highly successful politicians well apt at achieving their political goals, are spearheading this innovative venture.
This is indeed a great strategy. Our readers will remember Sarath Fonseka completely defeated Mahinda Rajapakshe in the facebook polls and “fan page” membership category of the last election. While the much expected public “protests” did not emerge in Sri Lanka when Fonseka was arrested this online petition will create a “HUGE” movement to free Fonseka so he can go to Hague and testify for War Crimes® of the Sinhala forces he commanded.
This is no doubt the next generation of the Sinhala political era. As our Tamil Eelam brethren are very well aware, we in the Tamil community have being “signing” petitions, making youTube videos and creating websites for the cause of Eelam for years now. And look what it has got us. We are the most esteemed stateless toilet cleaners of the world. And like us Colombians and Losers for Fonseka will achieve never ending success with their online strategy.
There are a large number of ways YOU, the average Colombian and the average Eelamist can help. Start sending Sarath Fonseka stuff online. For your convenience TamilNet would like to list out the things you can send or do to Fonseka online.
- Send some Conditioned Air
- Throw a Sheep at him, or a goat
- Start a website called sendstufftoFonseka.com
- Give him some online medical assistance
- Send someone from the HR commission. (Zip him if he’s too fat)
- Start a Facebook app to throw stuff at Sarath Fonseka
- Send him a Dialog IDD card.