[TamilNet, Wednesday, 17 June 2009, 15:45 GMT]
We here TamilNet would categorically deny the propaganda spouted by GOSL and beg to counter it with 1000% truths of diarrhoeal nature and tsunamic magnitude. The rumours of our Thalivar’s death … oops sorry, very sorry … I mean sabbatical in heavenly Eelam after the great battle, is exceedingly exaggerated by the GOSL!
From the very start of this battle, which we did not provoke the GOSL in 2006 onwards by depriving water to villagers in our great Eelam borders, we just wanted to fight with the singhaloid army to demonstrate that we are the best! We just love it!
[video:youtube:7kgdzqsCdNA]
Greatly annoyed by this lack of water to the farmlands unable to survive due to failed harvest crops the most desperate combined Singhaloid armed forces stated peeing in the channels we cut in the earth erecting the bunds of shit to defend ourselves from the Singhaloid hordes. This un-defendable action of “pis aller or last resort” became a piss lake and then piss tsunamis of unceasing waves, that there was actually no need to use the fictional cluster bombs or phosphorous bombs at all. Besides we Tigers very cleverly (strategically) and very rapidly withdrew to our bunkers in the Wanni taking our cuddly shrapnel sponges with us.
Soon the unceasing waves of the Singhaloid Golden Tsunami washed us off to the No- Fire-Zone in which (only) we were given the exclusive right by UK (Labour Party) No-way, Can-nada, O-Bummer in USA, EU Australia etc to light fires. How dare the Singhaloids use small-arms fire to prevent our Thalivar from getting shut eye? You Singhaloids know very well that he is a very kind individual with a delicate constitution.
Thalivar was stuck in the bunker with us all and his body odour forced us to abandon the bunkers and come out fighting. Our Great Thalivar proved to be a great hero because we know that he killed thousands of Singhaloids Soldiers by the hour and then taking pity on them took the injured few to Eelam Teaching Hospital in the Wanni by ambulance, driving it himself. Thalivar is a very skilled Paramedic … just ask the three Tiger propaganda Doctors, the three most esteemed Dr. T. Varatharajah, Dr. T. Sathyamurthi, and Dr. V. Shanmugarajah. All this about Thalivar trying to escape in an ambulance is Singhala propaganda 100% … You see Thalivar the poor soul was getting the most awful headache because of the racket caused by you Singhaloids. So we were eventually forced to silence our gun by fixing silencers to them, never mind the rocket launchers and cannons, hoping you would do the same and let us go away to No-way.
To put a stop to all this pandemonium ensuing Great Thalivar had an unceasing wave in his brain and he decided to impress the Singhaloids by displaying his brain to them. The poor Sinhaloids thus exposed to the great intellect of our Thalivar collected some samples of it and gave our Thalivar the much deserved adulation by carrying him shoulder high, to the BBQ.
There was a question of identifying us Eelamist at the BBQ, because of our dark skin color. … not that we were burnt to cinders as you claim. We are very ashamed about our blackness but we hope by washing ourselves repeatedly in toilet cleaner fluids we would achieve the white complexion required in all future Eelam-lands. There is a rumor spread by the Singhaloids that we were gassed out of our bunkers using nerve gas akin to Fentanyl (supplied by the Muscovites) This is a blatant lie because you all know we Tigers are immune to all forms of poison having dosed ourselves regularly since infancy with cyanide.
The short video clip of the party shows Thalivar resting most majestically on his back whilst the noisy Singhaloids admire his brain. You can hear a frightened Singhaloid begging, wanting to go home (say Please !!) The Eelam baby factory project is set on a Eugenics agenda to whitewash our genes till we are as white as our Colonical white masters.
After the almighty party that Fonseka put on for us, for whom we are very grateful, (although Fonseka is a shameless Singhaloid Genocider) Thalivar is now off in Eelam in the sky (we think!) on a much deserved sabbatical. He has promised to return our Eelam in exile when “it is Time!!!” for it … according to Katapuka (Mr. KP). In memory of Thalivar’s great battle KP is growing a wispy moustache, which is not as luxuriant as Thalivar’s pet caterpillar don’t you think?