[TamilNet, Tuesday, 03 March 2009, 09:20 GMT]
It has come to our attention that one of the cleaners from Tamil Nadu has found the following piece of paper which appears to be notes for the acceptance speech brought in by one of the Oscar Nominees which obviously was never used. The piece of paper was screwed up and was in the waste paper bin in the Female toilets.
It reads….
“Thank you…thank you….thank you one and all….This is a great honor for me personally and for my baby. This baby is a lucky baby who has brought me fame which I would never have got otherwise. This baby signifies the birth of Tamil Eelam the newest country on this earth.
As you know, Tamil Eelam would not have materialized if not for my uncle Velu who is currently carrying out a brave fight against the genocidal Sri Lanka and the genocidal Sinhalayas. Thank you uncle Velu you are an inspiration for me…even the low caste Tamils are protecting you so that you can achieve your goal. Uncle Velu, please do not bite the cyanide capsule whatever you do.
I would like to also thank my dear father, Arul. If not for the expert advice on explosives that he provided to Uncle Velu, I would not have got this far. If not for his thurst for white culture I would never be in this country of our (my) superior masters, whom I sing for.
A Thank YOU for all you Tamil DieAssPoras. If not for your contributions, I would not have even stood a chance of being nominated. Please keep sending your dollars to Uncle Velu.
Finally, I would like to tell you all what a terrible genocide is going on in Sri Lanka. Since we Eezham Tamils like licking your feet, all the white fellas here should consider using military intervention to save our Eelam. Please help the janitors.” I should know that because I’m now the new “sole” voice of Eelamish people in Canada. I’m highly educated and I have a very good understanding of what the LTTE are fighting for. If not for them me and my superior Eelamish fans would not be able to live in this white utopia (Until Eelam is achieved of course).
So Thank you All. And Pray that I would not be a One Hit Wonder. OK. Brap Brap
A Report by Volunteer Correspondent Silva