[TamilNet, Friday, 30 January 2009, 01:00 GMT]
On the 11th anniversary of the LTTE’s glorious and totally non-cowardly bombing of the Dalada Maligawa in Kandy, the sole representatives® of the Tamil people tactically withdrew® from Mullaitivu, our last major stronghold.
This is totally NOT due to the karmic effects of bombing Sinha Lanka’s holiest Buddhist site but a generous decision taken by the LTTE to gift Mullaitivu to the racist homophobic Sinhaloids. This will obviously fool them into believing that the war is 95% over, thus giving us more time to carry out yet another totally devastating Great Counter-attack™ like what we did with the tank bund! The arrogant Sinhaloids are now so confident of victory; they have rested the entire 53rd Division along with parts of other Divisions! This is concrete evidence that they’re walking into the trap laid by the LTTE and will soon be massacred, whereby Eelam will promptly be achieved afterwards.
But in some alarming news, the 55th Division from the north is now marching south along the coast where it will link up with the 59th Division, thus consigning the glorious and invincible Sea tigers to the soon-to-be-published history books of Eelam. This is SEA TIGER GENOCIDE™ and we appeal to Barack Obama to prevent it from happening! We Tamils are 100% confident that President Obama will totally stop the 145% non-fictitious GENOCIDE™ in Sorry Lanka!
On the other hand, such a maneuver will box in the great LTTE and they will be completely surrounded by 7 rabid Sinhaloid divisions baying for their blood. This is actually the greatest position we can find ourselves in because the inevitable civilian casualties will totally give credence to the claims of GENOCIDE™ which we are trying very hard to make the international community believe is happening.
The loss of Mullaitivu is actually not a loss for us at all. The LTTE is simply denied a major base to operate from and the Sea Tigers too have no port to anchor at. But this is great news because LTTE land forces now have a full half a jungle all to ourselves and our civilian friends (who are totally NOT human shields). Losing their port is no problem to the Sea Tigers because they can simply float at sea and test the fuel-efficiency of their unsinkable boats.
Therefore it can be easily seen that tactically withdrawing® from Mullaitivu is so not a disaster but actually a master-stroke by Soorya Thevan. The Sinhaloids will soon know what they’re up against. As always, we’ll have to wait and see™!