[TamilNet, Tuesday, 04 November 2008, 01:00 GMT]
Vaithilingam Sornalingam, alias Colonel Shankar (CODENAME: Stewardess), was born in September 1949, the second of Six Eelamish Children. He studied at Tamil Maha Vidyalayam in the Vanni and then later enrolled in a Boarding School at Hartley College in Point Pedro. He quickly discovered his talents at an early age and was quite the sportsman when it came to Traditional Eelamish sports like Eelam Karate and Child Soldier Mine Dodging.
After having enough of Eelam at the time, he moved to Chennai to be more in touch with his Tamil Nadu roots where he felt a close bond with the people like every Tamil Eelamish citizen feels. Upon completing his A-Levels he moved to Canada where he assimilated into Montreal society gaining employment as most Tamil Eelamish immigrants did in the Janitorial industry of Canada.
He Believed He Could Fly…
His beginnings were humble just as any other LTTE leader. From joining the movement, he worked his way up from a Toilet Scrubber to an extremely prestigious job of Toilet Scrubber on Air Canada. Having studied Aeronautical Toilet Engineering his highly specialized degree, coupled with his highly intelligent and genetically superior Tamil mind, Sornalingam Cleaning Airplane Toilets inspired this Clever Cunning Eelamish mind to work on devising a way for the LTTE to one day be airborne.
A close confidant of Hon V. Pirapaharan, Col Shankar, has been an active member of the LTTE for two Decades. Although never a Child soldier, he has been blessed as one of the very few Adult Cadres to have had one of Thalaivar’s finger examinations.
He Believed He Could Touch the Sky…
With the Help of Thalaivar’s Son, who had now come of age after getting a first class Eelamic Education in Ireland, the Air Tiger decided that now was the time to build the Air Wing of the LTTE which was to be known as the Mighty Takaran Force. Using HRH Charles Anthony’s capacious Rectal Cavity he began the slow laborious task of smuggling the parts of Aircraft into Eelam in the rectal cavities of willing and able LTTE Cadres.
It is said that Charles Anthony has smuggled as many as 5 whole Airplane Engines in his capacious rectal cavity for Col. Shankar. The planes were assembled in the Jungles of the Wanni by more really Smart and Cunning Clever Tamilish people.
Thought About It Every Night and Day…
After the End of the CFA which the LTTE sadly had to terminate due to the ruthless tactics of the GoSL, the LTTE aircraft were deployed to rain down devastating firepower on the SLAF runways. The entire country was paralyzed with Fear as the Planes flew over the capital several times. The Tamil Diaspora in Toronto and London were also thrilled to see the Devastating damage caused to the Runways of the SLAF.
Hon. V. Pirapaharan said in his 2007 Hero’s day speech:
“The planes have done more damage than One Thousand Pigeons with Diarrhea. Once again it demonstrates what Clever Cunning Genetically-Superior Jaffna Eelamish people are capable of, especially when we put our minds to work. Imagine what these Clever Cunning Tamils would be doing if we had our Eelam? We would be building Rockets to the Moon,…!”,
Then Spread His Wings and Fly Away…
Saddly this Pioneer of LTTE Aviation’s life was sadly cut short when he was ruthlessly DPU’ed in 2001 by a group of LRRP Sinhala Homophobes that laid in wait as his car passed by on that lonely Wanni road near Oddusudan at around 10:45am on the 26th of September. He did however get his wish to fly in a sort tragic metaphorical ways as the Claymore mine that detonated under his body blew him to smithereens sending his body parts “flying” for about 100 meters vertical distance in every direction achieving an estimated top altitude of over 1 Kilometer into the clear blue Eelam Sky.
Judging by the depth of crater created by the impact of his Genitals hitting the ground, Eelam Forensic scientists concluded that the velocity achieved by his private parts would have been caused by them falling from a height of no less than 1200 Meters thus concluding that this Tiger – well at least parts of his genitalia, achieved a maximum cruising altitude of no less than 1.2 Kilometers in the air.
So when all is said and done, this Tiger really did get a chance to “Touch the Sky”… albeit only with his dismembered private parts.
R.I.P Col. Shankar… you will always be remembered for your contributions in helping Eelam become “achieved”.
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