[TamilNet, Thursday, 18 September 2008, 01:00 GMT]
In yet another fascinating example of We Tamil ingenuity, the Ministry of Science, Technology and Innovations of Eelam has confirmed to TamilNet that they have launched the LTTE’s first chemical attack on the Sinhaloid Army in Akkarayankulam and Vannivilankulam. This brand new weapon is the much-vaunted FART BOMB™, produced exclusively by the Clown prince of Eelam, HRH Charles Anthony.
A beaming Tamil Eelam scientist explained the process to TamilNet, "The Clown Prince naturally manufactures this product by chomping down on a diet exclusively consisting of copious amounts of thala-thel flavoured beans, washed down with his daddy’s own Thalaivar Juice. This enables his bowels to go into Eelam-overdrive, producing vast amounts of methane gas and numerous other explosive gases and liquids. The Clown Prince then waits for the right moment to unleash his weapon! The results of its maiden test on the Sinhaloids speak for themselves."
The attack was a blooming success, with Sinhaloid soldiers falling in a heap left, right and centre. Our totally non-fictitious civilian spies reported that 16000 Sinhaloids suffocated thanks to the awesome power of HRH Prince Charles’ Anthony’s unmatched flatulence. Sadly, the overpowering stench even killed our spies after they divulged this information. Naturally, the Sinhaloids are to be blamed for this FART GENOCIDE™ because if it wasn’t for them, the Clown Prince wouldn’t have let rip a mighty big one to defend Eelam in the first place. Even some nearby elephants and deer had died, along with all the flora in the vicinity being completely destroyed.
Our Tamil scientists are confident that the new FART BOMBS will be successfully deployed en masse in the very near future. This will certainly ensure that ALL SINHALOIDS are wiped out of Eelam so that our mono-ethnic utopia can be achieved soon soon!