[TamilNet, Monday, 07 July 2008, 01:00 GMT]
Prabhakaran’s son credited with new devastating Chemical Bomb
His Royal Highness, Charles Anthony, Pirapaharan’s slightly Gay Son, is proven to be a Really smart Scholar Eelamist like his father Hon. V. Pirapaharan himself and the senior leaders of the Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam (LTTE) worry about the meteoritic rise of the Prince of Eelam.
LTTE old guards worry about His Royal Highness Charles Anthony’s Gassy build ups.
According to intelligence reports HRH Charles Anthony has developed a new chemical weapon capable of such a shocking smell that it could kill or permanently damage vision and nasal cavities and also make women barren. Now that the war has moved to the northern theatre, use of this lethal anal weapon could make the Tamil Tigers (sole Representatives® of the Tamil People) a more deadly force to reckon with. Sources revealed that HRH Charles Anthony developed his crude Improvised Explosive Devise (IED) while eating lots of Baked Beans and fingering his asshole at night in his bunker.
Latest military reports revealed that Sri Lankan Government forces have started surrounding the LTTE’s Vanni stronghold, and menacingly advancing into the Tiger power centre. This situation has made them to realize that the 122 MM big guns of theirs has become something of an inappropriate lethal weaponry to rely of, as the enemy is so close and near, unable to fire effectively with a firing range of 25 KM.
When the inability to stop the advancing forces becomes a life and death issue, heir-apparent Charles Anthony, it is said, has come up with a Devastating Improvised Explosive Devise: the Sandass 500kg. Which utilizes the capacious size of his rectum to simultaneously send a shock wave of sound and disperse a large volume of Toxic Gas within a 200 meter Radius.
The weapon was conceived in 2002 when HRH Charles Anthony first used his extraordinarily voluminous Rectal cavity to smuggle in the larger parts (such as the Engine) of the LTTE aircraft into Eelam Territory. Inspired by the roominess of his rectum, he realized that it could also be used as a Gas containment and mixing chamber, where volatile components could be concealed, easily mixed, and then propelled with precision towards an unsuspecting enemy.
On trial explosions it became apparent that many pregnant women within a radius three kilometers aborted their babies on the spot due to the peculiar loud noise of the explosion, and the doctors in the Vanni have warned that fallout vapors of this Rectal Device may cause permanent barrenness in the midst of Tamil women in nearby villages.
Though the after-effects of this rectal explosive devise are alarming, but the heir-apparent has ordered the field commanders to use this dangerous explosive in the battle field. He also had told that the women cadres in the field to be withdrawn to three to three four KM before theses explosives are fired. Though women cadres might have very remote chances of being saved, but the plight of women in Vanni faces the danger of turning barren in the near future.
Sources also revealed that senior leaders of the LTTE have expressed concern over Prabhakaran’s overt and covert strategy of promoting his slightly gay son over above the seniors who sacrificed the entire youth for the movement. “Soosai, Bhanu, Baby Subramanium, Illantharyan and many others are worried about this development,” the source said.“They argue that HRH Charles Anthony lacked experience to take such a senior position and his Commodius Rectal Cavity weapon could be harmful to the image of the LTTE, which is currently trying to promote its non Odorous image in mind the international community who currently consider Eelamistinians to be non-bathing Janitors with stank-butt and halitosis.
Even (Intelligence Head) Pottu (Amman) has warned Hon V. Pirapaharan against giving too many Cans of Heinz Baked Beans to young Charles Anthony while they were in the bunkers and not out in the battlefield.