[TamilNet, Saturday, 03 May 2008, 01:00 GMT]
TamilNet: Caholic Preist Killed in Sri Lanka
Reliable sources in the Wanni heartland have confirmed events surrounding the death of Father M X Karunaratnam, which we are trying very hard to pin on the DPU teams of the racist SL forces.
According to our sources, Father Kili as he was affectionately known, volunteered to be sacrificed for the greater good of Eelam, at a time when we are running out of child soldiers to man FDLs on 5 fronts. The plan itself was hatched by our own Thalaivar and timed to coincide with Pope Benedict’s visit to the USA (just like we bumped MP Sivanesan to coincide with the UNHRC meeting in Geneva). Thalaivar predicted that the death of a catholic priest will not go unnoticed by the Pope, who could then unleash his wrath on the Buddha-worshipping Sinhala nation and persuade the US leaders to intervene and help us out of our current predicament.
To carry out the plan, Father Karunaratnam was supposed to proceed in his car along the Mallaavi – Vavunikku’lam Road in Wanni, before he was to meet his maker. Thalivar had given a map of the claymore mine location to Father Karunaratnam before hand. But unfortunately for Father Karunaratnam, his vehicle had broken down before the anticipated location. However the ever-ready tigers that we are, we had a backup plan for any such event that would deter us from setting off our claymore fireworks. We promptly sent a tow team to tow Father Karunaratnam to his death. The good Father that he was, Father Karunaratnam kindly obliged us in this backup plan as well.
Moral of the story: Nothing will stand between us and our claymores. We need more self-sacrificing Eelam lovers like Father Karunaratnam if we are to ever achieve Eelam!
Our sources also instructed us on the policy each and every one of our piece-loving supporters should abide by in the case of a claymore explosion. When a claymore goes off in the south, it is always the responsibility of the GoSL as that area is under their control. And as in this case, when a claymore goes off in Eelam, it is also the responsibility of the GoSL (notwithstanding location) as we can pin it on their DPU teams. As you can see, there is no way we can lose with the weapon of our choice – the great claymore mine – as it can always be attributed to the GoSL. Always!