[TamilNet, Saturday, 19 April 2008, 01:00 GMT]
TamilNet: Eelam Sports Festival By LTTE in Sri Lanka
De Facto State of Eelam demonstrates to the World that we Tamils Eelamazoid people are capable of running our own state and doing things other than just Police enforced Speed restrictions in our own Racially-Pure, Tamilstinian-only Homeland.

Last Week we had the Annual Thalaivar Sponsored Eelam Sports Karate tournament and a host of other Children’s sporting events for the Kids to participate. Thalaivar who holds a 9th Dan (degree) Blackbelt in Karate was there to usher in the event and to take part as well to prove to our Loyal Tamil Diaspora that despite looking like a Fat Gasswind Bloated mass of Turtle curry consuming human waste blob, he actually could kick ass and is in 100% tip top shape when it comes to sports and War.
We have nothing to fear as Thalaivar is still as healthy and fit the day he started the Eelam Struggle and can continue on the fight for the next 25 years with ease. As always the event went spectacularly well with Thalaivar winning all the Events without any trouble whatsoever.

Categories of Events:
Men’s Black Tiger Karate.
Women’s Black Tiger (Bird of Freedom) Karate
100 Meter Child Soldier Mine Dodge Dash
Homophobia Free Eelam Men’s wrestling
Bird of Freedom 100 Meter Carpet Munching crawl.
Child Soldier Naked Hot-Oil Wrestling
Men’s Long Distance Grenade Throw
Women’s Long Distance Grenade Throw
Child Soldiers’’ Long Distance Grenade Throw

As usual the event closed with Thalaivar’s Freedom Speech and the dead athletes’ body parts were buried in the Hero’s Cemetery in Jaffna. Thalaivar took home the big Silver Trophy back to his Bunker to place next to all the other Trophies he has won from all the previous events.