[TamilNet, Sunday, 10 February 2008, 02:55 GMT]
The Research and Development Department of the Ministry of Science, Technology and innovations of Eelam run at the top secret base at TamilEditors.com have proudly declared that they have invented and successfully tested a Time Machine!
It has been learnt by Tamilnet that this startling discovery was to be kept under wraps for a glorious declaration by the supreme leader “the Great Sun God!” at the joyous Hero’s Day. However the chief scientist at TamilEditors accidentally disclosed this fact at a recent news conference held at an undisclosed location which was attended by Tamilnet.
Accordingly, it is reveled that after successful testing the in the battle fields, the scientists were able to teleport an Iraqi insurgent who died in 2006 to the Mannar last week. To prove this amazing feat the chief scientist provided Tamilnet with the following web links (working as of 07/02/2008 20:00h Eelam Standard Time) to show that it was the very same dead insurgent that was time-teleported to Mannar a fiefdom of the Great Sun God.
- Time-Teleported dead IRAQI insurgent in Mannar, Eelam. January 2008 (For Screen Shot of the article in tamileditors.com ClickHere)
The chief scientist also stated that this feat was achieved by extremely Clever Tamil Scientists who were inspired by watching a lot of the Hollywood movies. “Tamil ingenuity knows no bounds!” he exclaimed. “What has been imagined has now been realized.” A fact that doesn’t come as a surprise because Tamils are known to be genetically superior in Thought and Deed than the Lazy Sinhala masses. This is also self-evident in the 25 years of Military victories and almost achieving Eelam by the LTTE.
The head of Research also said that there are some technical glitches that need to be address and that the fine tuning will take a few more months. He said "currently we are only capable of time teleporting human remains. we are working very hard on this and UNDP and UNICEF has assured us that they will be assisting us with all technical expertise. Once we have completed our lab tests, we will teleport all our dead carders from the 1990′s to now to fill in the void created by all those LTTE members who died Recently." he further added that "Our Supreme Sun God will be most pleased to see his brethren including Brig. Thamilchelvan, Anton Balasingham and his best friend Uma Maheswaran amongst the living."
It is also reliably learnt by Tamilnet that the Racist Sinahlese Government in the Southern Independent Sri Lanka is attempting to discredit this great invention by stating that the scientist at TamilEditors have fabricated its evidence just like the South Korean Researches who claimed that they cloned a red fluorescent Cat. Supporters of GoSL were also claiming that the TamilEditors research is of no value stating that according to their website Tamileditors disclaimed all responsibility of their findings and publications. Scientists at TamilEditors vehemently deny all such charges. Tamilnet completely condemns this despicable behavior of the Racist Sinhalese Sri Lankan Government.
The Research and Development Department of the Ministry of Science, Technology and Innovations of Eelam is world renown for its inventions and was the first to create the Suicide Jacket. A more recent invention was the Suicide Bra with double padding tested live at the Ministry of Social Welfare of Racists Sinhalese Sri Lanka, the arch rival of Tamil Eelam.
- Reporting from the Internet(s)