[TamilNet, Saturday, 23 February 2008, 02:15 GMT]
The Supreme Leader of the Tamil people, head of the Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam (LTTE) V. Prabahkaran has send an urgent request to the international community and the people around the world.
This is a full transcript of his speech.
"How utterly common and unbefitting of the man who is the single-handed SAVIOUR of the Tamilstinian people! In addition I can no longer get my usual 600 channels of Norwegian scat-porn and man-on-toddler Bukake stations now that our freedom broadcasting satellite uplink was destroyed by those stupid air force planes we claimed we destroyed in that totally useful Eelallan suicide mission attack on Anuradhapura Air force base in November!
As you can see, things are tough for me here but please don’t fret my little Tiger-Piglets because I am a fighter and I know I must make sacrifices for Eelam; just as you, my loyal janitor class of Tamilese supporters in the suburbs of Greater Eelam like Toronto and London, must sacrifice your hard earned toilet cleaning wages to me every month. Don’t worry about me – I will pull through without the turtle curry and the sweet-meat TV channels.
But I do need your help to get me the one thing that keeps uncle Praba’s engine running during those cold dark nights in my Eelam bunker of love – and that is my gerbil supply! Without a nice warm gerbil or two snugly inserted between my Sun Godly butt-cheeks at night, even the great Praba gets cranky and moody in the mornings! I need my gerbils! And now that Thamilchelvan got blasted to Eelam in the sky while wearing Karunanidhi’s prized anal beads in his rectum, I have no anal toys left to keep me feeling ‘Eelamic’ at night! It is just not sufficient to use a nice child soldier or three’s plump soft 10 year old buttocks as hand warmers at night – the great Praba must have his own Sun Godly rectal cavity stuffed full with squirming furry rodents to send me off dreaming to the totally 100% legitimately entitled land of milk and honey I am fighting to rule!
So, my appeal to you as your ‘sole voice’ of your (my) people is to continue to cry loudly to the white masters in whose countries you are currently residing and you currently scrub toilets for. Make them listen to your over-exaggerated hissy-fits of supreme suffering! Make those poor white girls cry for you as poor oppressed little brown people by showing them pictures of more dead little brown people you download off the web… or play them one of the many, many academy award winning docu-drama homemade clips of Tamil suffering that circulate on YouTube.
Let their eyes shrink wrap in tears as they see our undisputable makeshift cardboard slide presentations and rudimentary and generic montages of dead people pointing to the totally 100% “obvious” conclusion of genocide and human rights violations as our good friend, the esteemed Doctor Brian Seneviratne does from his Tiger-paid and furnished residence in Brisbane, Australia.
Also, continue to attack all stupid Sinhaloid dogs who try to counter your completely unbiased or exaggerated assertions of the worst holocaust in history of man next to Nazi Germany, by calling and labeling them racists and chauvinists! Point out their past atrocities from centuries past over and over again! Exaggerate the number by adding a ZERO or two after the official death counts. 1000 Tamils, 10,000 Tamils, 100,000 Tamils! What is the difference when we are the only self declared victims of homophobic racism??? Speak of them as if they occurred yesterday! Speak of them as if they are still in effect like the beloved Sinhala-Only act or the citizenship of upcountry Tamils.
Trust me my little nodding parrots of Eelam, these white folks will not know the difference but will automatically take your side as it is the side of the victim that they love to be on. Do your best to some how get the A-9 road re-opened and the homophobic SL Army off my back so that the trucks and buses can start pouring back into Eelam bringing with them essential supply items for our people like claymore mine ball bearings, electrical wires, freedom bullets, and C4 high explosives ingredients. But most importantly to resume the flow of sweet, cute, cuddly, and furry insertable rodents along with ample supply of ANAL LUBE! Till them, I am currently using field mice as a substitute… (GOD! THIS COCONUT OIL IS MAKING MY ASS ITCH!!!)
PULIKALIN THAGAM THAMIL EELATH THAYAGAM (BRAP BRAP)"