[TamilNet, Sunday, 07 February 2010, 04:30 GMT]
TamilNet is proud to introduce a complementary set for Tamil Eelam toilet cleaning brushes, to be used by the highly intelligent donkey disaspora.
Toilet Cleaner’s Uniform
This will also be available for a separate charge. They are available in two colours medium black and dark black to suit the individual Tamil Eelam toilet cleaner’s complexion.
A full set of brushes is offered at a concession rate of 10% discount in a specially crafted genuine leather case made of Tamil Tiger skins.
Raj Rajaratnum has already placed an order for Prabakaran Leaner brush and the Prabakaran master female brush for his wife. He is expected to be saving to buy a Tamils for Obama brush in installments.
Having reviewed the orders placed so far, it is expected that major branch factories in Melbourne, Sydney, Oslo, London, Boston and Toronto could be established in the near future. Given the global demand a World Bank ‘soft’ loan is being negotiated
The following items are under development by the R&D department
(The designs are in collaboration with Versace the Italian fashion designer and are all made from genuine Tamil Tiger skin).
- Toilet cleaner’s caps
- Tamil Cleaner’s uniform- both female and male
- Toilet cleaner tee shirts
- Toilet cleaner medals
- Toilet cleaner ties
- Toilet cleaner’s belts
- Toilet cleaner perfume- will have a toilet cleaner’s aroma, so that they could spray on after a shower, so that they could have a permanent smell of a toilet cleaner. This will appeal to all expatriate Tamils who are not toilet cleaners but still wish to smell like one (could be very few in number).
- Toilet cleaner’s after shave
A Toilet Cleaner’s Polish Called Prabakaran Toilet Polish
This is being developed using Thala Thell for use on toilet floors. This is an environmentally friendly polish with no chemicals being used. It is currently undergoing tests at Underwriter’s Laboratories, USA, for independent certification. It has a multiple use capability for use on the hair of Tamil EElam Toilet Cleaners and as a cooking oil.
Toilet Cleaners New Year ball (dinner dance) Dec 31st night
In inaugurating the manufacturing facilities the Tamil Toilet Cleaners ball (dinner dance) is being planned by Tamil’s for Obama, in celebration of the long awaited event.
- Music will be provided by the Tamil Nadu Sakkilly Orchestra, conducted by a well known Tamil Nadu conductor. (see footnote below)
- With vocals by Mia who will sing the toilet cleaner’s anthem.
- Celine Dion is also being invited to sing in Tamil, who is claimed by the Tamils to have her origins in Jaffna. She will also sing a duet with MIA in Tamil.
- The venue is still to be decided- could even be at the White House, Main Ballroom- given the services currently rendered by the Tamil’s for Obama cleaning their toilets. The President’s Ball will be cancelled this year.
Prizes will be awarded as follows:
First prize- 3 consecutive days to clean the white house toilets or 3 hour continuous stay inside the toilets
Second prize- 2 consecutive days to clean the white house toilets
Third prize- 1 day to clean the toilets
10 consolation prizes will be given of Parabakaran Master Brush
A toilet cleaning competition will be held- the details will be known at the ball.
A tour of all Washington’s public toilets is being planned as a full day event for all Tamils who wish to attend. A number of bus loads are expected for this event.
Footnote:Should the Tamil EElam be established in either Norway or London, the Tamil EElam Sakkili Band’s vocalists will be participating in the EuroVision song contest
Shitmohan Shitkaran
(Volunteer Special correspondent Toilet cleaning services)
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