[TamilNet, Friday, 02 January 2009, 04:20 GMT]
As TamilNet nears the 100th anniversary of reporting to the world on LTTE (Sole Representatives® of the Tamil people) affairs in a completely non-biased manner and exposing the 100% non-exaggerated TRUTH® about the 200% credible GENOCIDE™ of Tamils taking place in Sri Lanka, TamilNet would like you, the Loyal non-brainwashed Tamil Janitor to vote for the Best Ever News Item of the year.
The voting will be conducted in two parts, with each part running for exactly TWO weeks. Then the top two from each part will face the final vote.
The Second part in the order of publication date
Pink Tigers
Publication Date: 19 Feb 2008
TamilNet is the first to bring you this breaking news about this new super elite fighting brigade. The division now in charge of guarding the LTTE rear end in Eelam (aka front lines) consists of the gayest fighters the LTTE has to offer.
The Units were personally selected by the great leader in a secret room in his highly luxurious bunker. They are capable of anything. Pink Tigers have known to infiltrate the Sinhala heartland in Colombo and steal Ranil Wickramasinhe’s butt plug collection and Mangala “Monga” Samaraweera’s soiled underpants.
Sri Lankan Journalist Turns Chinese!
Publication Date: 26 May 2008
TamilNet investigates a strange phenomenon affecting Fiction Writers in Sri Lanka. A Fiction Writer from the highly independent Nation News paper is found to have undergone a spontaneous metamorphosis overnight. The writer who is a Sri Lankan by birth has transformed in to a Chinese man.
The Phenomenon commonly described in the Tamil media as Spontaneous Chinkkification is highly dangerous and may cause the writer to be never ever heard of again. TamilNet advices all fiction writers in Sri Lanka to avoid writing fiction stories unless they want to be diagnosed with this malady.
GENETIC EXPLANATION OF THE TOILET DONKEY SUB-SPECIES
Publication Date: 16 Oct 2008
Dr. Watson T. Ponnapillai presents his senior thesis at the Tamil Eelam University. This highly acclaimed work investigates how the Toilet Donkey sub-species (aka Tamil Eelam Tamils), A Sub species of the Tamil species evolved in to the highly superior, clever, smart and cunning people of today.
The Mutant Gene itself was discovered in 1983 by 13 Sinhala Scientists in Jaffna working for the FoFo Bravo Company (Pvt) Ltd. It was discovered that Normal Tamil genes that have been exposed to simultaneous high doses of Body odor Radiation and Communalistic political sound wave Radiation spontaneously mutated into what is known today as the TOILET DONKEY Sub-species.
Tamil Eelam Game: Save Killinochchi
Publication Date: 01 Dec 2008
The Latest game from the Tamil Eelam gaming commission titled “Save Killinochchi” is a complete success. It is a turn-based strategy game played on a big map. The central philosophy in the design of the game is the THALAVAR-WINS principle; where no matter how hard you play, Thalivar will always win as it should rightly be.
Now the average Tamil Eelam supporter in Toronto and London can actually get the real life experience of fighting the Sinhala hordes invading Eelam. With units such as Cannon Fodder, Camera Man, Pink Tiger, and Suicide Bomber and with multiple campaigns such as the “Marathon” and “Blow Me” The game provides a realistic experience of Testicle withdrawals and Mass genocide of the Sinhalese people.
LTTE wives Gone Wild
Publication Date: 29 Dec 2008
TamilNet investigates the recent happenings in the LTTE women wing. These wives of the Supers Smart Tamil leaders may not be smart enough to carry out suicide bombings against Sinhalese but they are apparently good at SEX.
Widowers of LTTE leaders have had to make lifestyle adjustments to cope with the rising inflation and the lack of Diaspora funds being funneled to their Swiss Bank accounts and Tax dodge schemes in Eelam. Unbeknownst to many while the tiger is away, seems the pussies are at play. Our special undercover photographer caught these shameful women engaging in sexy behavior behind the scenes all over the place.
Results from Part 1 of the vote forthe Best TamilNet article
| Article |
Votes | Precentage |
| Green Tigers | 42 | 38% |
| Dr Brain Seneviratne’s TEN GENOCIDES™ | 27 | 24% |
| Lt. Col. Thileepan | 18 | 16% |
| Potta Velu and the Philosopher’s Left Nut | 14 | 13% |
| LTTE Time Teleportation Machine!! | 10 | 9% |
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- Gifted Eelamish Fiction Writer JS Tissanayagam Sentenced to 20 Years of Rigorously Picking up the Soap
Hip hip hooory….Tharamapuram hospital bombed. I suggest the SLAF to continue the showers of bombs on the entire wanni region.
Ah Ruwani thangachchi, I heard singalam army is in Killinochi. You better hide, don’t know what they do to nice and tight thangachis like you.
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yeah true true