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TAMILNET BREAKING NEWS: Hurricane SLDF Batters Killinochchi

[TamilNet, Friday, 02 January 2009, 12:05 GMT]

TamilNet regrets to inform our totally smart readers that the eye of Category 10 hurricane, Hurricane SLDF has made a devastating landfall in Killinochchi killing millions of Internally Displaced People.

In fact, it is currently 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 inches from the town centre. The great Thalaivar in his infinite wisdom has decided to order the LTTE to Tactically withdraw® from Tamil Eelam’s capital and do the Tamil Eelam marathon to Mullaitivu. Killinochchi has in effect being tactically relocated to Tharmapuram.
 
We here at TamilNet will have a much more detailed update on this new state of affairs shortly. We will analyze the reasons for this super storm and its effects on the LTTE, our faithful diASSpora and the racist homophobic Sinhaloids. We will also explain the reasons behind this, the LTTE’s latest tactical withdrawal®.

The reason for the delay is that just about every anti-LTTE Sri Lankan in the country in currently setting off celebratory fireworks, and we at TamilNet can’t see the smoke signals from our 100% accurate sources in the Wanni due to the smoke from the said fireworks. Stay tuned!

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11 Responses to “TAMILNET BREAKING NEWS: Hurricane SLDF Batters Killinochchi”

  1. Mahasohona® says:

    is kilinochchi captured Yet???

    Mahe ammmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeee..
    ROFLMFAO!

  2. Ishan says:

    Where are you guys? What happened?
    Don’t see any nice comments of yours.

    When I see pictures of Kilinochchi through singholaid web sites, can’t see any Ealam dogs, cats, cows, goats and any other ealam cretures. LTTE has taken away all of those with them.
    I wish LTTE to withdraw tactically to ocean only one way trip.

  3. 12 years ago, the SLA captured the Ki’linochchi-Paranthan area from the Tigers after fighting for more than a month in 1996 after losing more than 600 soldiers. The LTTE recaptured part of the town in February 1998.

    A few months later, in September 1998, the LTTE overran the Brigade Headquarters with 15 satellite camps guarded by a 15 km long defence line virtually destroying the whole establishment in a two-day long major operation code named ‘Oayaatha Alaika’l-2′ (Unceasing Waves-2). The SLA garrison in Paranthan was compromised and the Tigers destroyed a large ammunition dump within the Elephant Pass base at that time. LTTE recovered more than one thousand dead bodies of the SLA in Unceasing Waves-2 operation.

  4. Hear Hear,

    I the Emperor, after spending 3.5 billion dollars and killing 12,000 SLummers successfully “re”captured Kilinochi Ghost town after TWO years!!!

    We had 20,000 new Children with Air force and armoured brigade march into capture it!!

    Now there is only one little confusion, how come the Tamoools didn’t use their anti- tank unit?

    Now I am going to use this lottery ticket to call a swift election and majorly fuck Ranil!!

    Super Singhaloids Rule(temperorily)
    Emperor Singhaloid

    ps: These units haven’t jumped into War of Worlds: Kilinochi yet!
    http://www.aruchuna.net/categories.php?cat_id=25

    pss: Any children at home, who wanna make 150 bucks?

  5. Ruwani says:

    Hi,

    Does anybody know what the SLA is doing to the captured eelamists?

    Have they been sent to the Laboratory for torture experiments?

    I hope they get the Katu-Kambi treatment. That is when a z-lon pipe is entered into the eelamist’s backside and then a barbed wire is entered through the z-lon pipe. Once that is done, the z-lon pipe is slowly pulled out.

    LOL!

  6. Pottan says:

    Does anybody know what the SLA is doing to the captured eelamists?

    Ha…ha..ha..

    Capture….

    What for …………….

  7. da says:

    hahahahahahahaha

    sri lanka now winning the race, no body can not stop it, we r proud of our army, there r the heroes in our hart,
    now piribaharan can suicide him self, if he is the leader why he affraid to face our army in battle field, why he hidden in the jungle like dog,

  8. Ruwani says:

    Hi Pottan,

    Did you see that Video of the stupid eelamist woman killed by our soldeirs. Disgusting to say the least. I mean the stupid dumb eelamist woman.

    That dumb eelamist woman killed in the fighting should be ashamed of herself. She even haven’t cleaned herself, maybe next time instead of food shipments to the North we should send some Wax strips for these animals to shave themselves.

  9. Indika Dias says:

    You eelam racist come out of drains… Then you will see there is no such an enjoyment which is supposed to have be sinhalese yet, until we see all of you (including piripaharan) under your own graves…. Why don’t you all keep up your fake communication campaigns all over the world and cheating easy mads (Whitees)…. Order your 6′x2′x4′ land for your own grave….Good Luck at the hell in Mullativ…!

  10. Pottu Amman® says:

    Ruwani,

    I hope to see you in one of those videos going through the ‘katu kambi’ treatment. If you can come to Vishwa Madhu Bunker 10A, I’ll do a KRD on your pretty ass myself.

    Bitch… remember to take your pills.

    Love Pottu Coolie.

  11. sivalinga says:

    Tamil terrorists will implode soon. In india Manamohan is in trouble with the Maoist of Bengal.

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